The trap of silent self-pressure
When no one asks for it, yet it still feels like it’s not enough
In academia, there is a kind of pressure that rarely appears anywhere in writing.
It’s not in regulations, formal evaluation criteria, or institutional emails.
And yet, it’s there.
It’s silent self-pressure:
that persistent feeling that you could have done a bit more, thought more carefully, gone a little further.
Even when no one asked you to.
When pressure stops coming from the outside
Early in an academic career, pressure is usually external:
deadlines, evaluations, grants, publications, explicit (or at least visible) metrics.
Over time, something subtle happens:
the pressure becomes internalized.
No one needs to supervise, correct, or push anymore.
The bar turns inward—automatic and constant.
And what makes it especially difficult is that this bar is rarely well defined.
It’s not “you should have done X.”
It’s “you could have done better.”
The problem is not pressure, but its form
Self-pressure is often confused with commitment, responsibility, or passion for one’s work.
And in many cases, it starts there.
The problem begins when it:
- has no temporal limits,
- doesn’t switch off with rest,
- can’t distinguish between “good enough” and “excellent,”
- ignores context (fatigue, resources, life circumstances).
At that point, it stops being a driver
and becomes a constant background noise.
A noise that doesn’t shout,
but never quite goes quiet.
“No one asked me to”… yet it still weighs heavily
One of the most common phrases I hear is:
“I feel like I'm always behind.”
This is where confusion often arises.
If no one asked for it, why does it feel so heavy?
Because the source isn’t the task itself,
but the internal system that is constantly evaluating.
A system that:
- reviews what you did,
- anticipates how it might be judged,
- compares it to implicit standards,
- and rarely registers what was actually good.
The cognitive cost of living under constant evaluation
Constant self-evaluation is not neutral.
It comes at a cost:
- mental energy,
- clarity,
- enjoyment,
- and real decision-making capacity.
Paradoxically, the harsher the internal voice becomes,
the less room there is for flexible thinking.
Not because ability is lacking,
but because the mind is busy defending itself from itself.
Making the trap visible
Silent self-pressure is difficult to question because it doesn’t present itself as a problem.
It presents itself as “normal,” “expected,” “just the way things are.”
That’s why the first step is not lowering it, eliminating it, or “being kinder.”
The first step is making it visible.
For example, by asking:
- What standard am I using to evaluate myself right now?
- Where did it come from?
- Is it explicit or implicit?
- Is it human or unattainable?
- What would happen if today were enough?
Not to answer quickly.
But to begin listening to something other than the automatic “it’s not enough.”
Take a moment to reflect
Are you tired of your work? Or are you tired of never being able to switch off internal evaluation?
Has it worked for you, trying to solve this with more effort, or is it time to look at it with greater awareness of how this internal pressure actually works?
If this resonated with you, it’s probably not by chance. And you’re probably not the only one.